and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
