Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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