you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
that may or may not have been my penis.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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