How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
