@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Randomize
