I think I just saw someone hide a body.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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