I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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