Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
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