There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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