ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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