OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize