I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
