too bad you live with your parents still
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
