I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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