i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize