flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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