I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize