I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
