check it out our google latitudes are spooning
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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