This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Randomize
