they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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