he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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