I must be too annoying 4 u.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
