I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
