I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
