I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
