Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
