Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
