If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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