You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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