so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
