i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
