so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
