She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
