I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize