I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
