wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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