Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
