Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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