Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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