dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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