Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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