Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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