1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
