so explain again why im purple
no
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize