They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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