Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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