oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize