She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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