there was a trapeze. enough said
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
