your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
