I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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