I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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