I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
