my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I forgot wine drunk hurts
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize