Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
