I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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