you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize