Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Randomize
