Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
