I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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